“All of your relationships are inside of you. There’s no relationship out there. There is only the reflection of what you are doing inside yourself and how you’re dealing with relationships inside of you, not out there. It may look as if a relationship is you with another person or with other people, but it is always you within you, and relationships are one of the greatest mirrors you can have for yourself-your patterns, your beliefs, your conditioned responses.”
Our relationships can be one of the greatest teachers we have in life. They not only help us learn loving, patience, boundaries, effective communication, but they are a mirror of our relationship to ourselves.
Every doubt and insecurity we have about ourselves and our own worthiness is brought forward in our relationships. Every need to prove ourselves, to seek approval, and our sense of safety and security is played out with the people in our lives.
What this means then is that every relationship can show us a reflection of our own Divinity, where we are limiting ourselves or stuck in old patterns. Every relationship holds a key to our own healing and expansion.
What do your relationships say to you or about you? If you were to look in to your relationship reflections, what does this mirror tell you about the following:
How safe you feel to open your heart
How worthy you believe yourself to be
How honest you are with yourself
Unhealed traumas or emotional wounds
Beliefs about being good enough
What you value in others that you are not seeing in yourself
What qualities you judge in others that you’re not owning in yourself
How you love and take care of yourself
How safe you feel to be yourself
The responsibility you take for yourself or for others
What your motivations are for your actions
How comfortable you are to let go
The “themes” your soul is bringing forward for you to look at in this lifetime
Instead of blaming others for not being who we want them to be or not loving us the way we want, we can begin to look at our relationships in a new way. Rather than trying to change the other person, we can begin to heal those parts of ourselves being reflected in other people that upset us.
For our own personal evolution and spiritual development, it is very helpful to become an observer at times. To look at the situations and people that trigger anger, guilt, loneliness, helplessness. What are they saying about you? What part inside of you needs your attention? What is the belief about yourself or about life that you’re holding on to?
These responses and limiting beliefs are not who we are. They are what we have learned. We can release them and be free. We can begin to love ourselves in such a way that our sense of safety and worth comes from within. When we connect on a Soul level, that loving is what becomes most important.
We often don’t understand what our soul is seeking here. So, instead of looking inside, we continue to repeat the same patterns, hold on to old resentments, and keep attracting the same type or person into our lives. If we end up leaving the person or situation, without changing the pattern within ourselves, they will show up again and again, just bearing a different name. Our soul always seeks wholeness and will bring forward exactly the right situations and people to help us clear any patterns that no longer serve us or keep us trapped.
When the quality of the relationship with our selves improves, the quality of our other relationships will shift as well. The actions of other people lose their power to affect us, or we get the courage to speak up. Sometimes we get the courage to leave a situation. And this time, they don’t show up again in another form, because we are not the same. We have moved on and are creating new reflections that are part of our Soul’s purpose and for our Highest Good.
We are here to learn to love our reflection on all levels.
We will go more in depth on this topic on December 12, from 9:30 a.m.-11:30 a.m. in a workshop called Women and Relationships.
Women & Relationships
Creating Healthy Boundaries and Releasing Codependency
Women often attract the same unsatisfying, even destructive relationships into their lives, and then attempt to change the other person in order to improve them. We often define ourselves by how others see us, and can feel desperate to receive love and approval from others, often at the expense of our physical and emotional health. This can be called codependency. At the very core of codependency is a dysfunctional relationship with ourselves that creates unhealthy boundaries with others. The quality of the relationship we have with ourselves is reflected in the quality of our relationship with others. Only when we heal old wounds, release shame, and learn to truly care about ourselves can we have satisfying relationships and healthy boundaries with others.
Click here for more information on Women & Relationships Workshop.